Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
