she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
