I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
