she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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