You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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