the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
