one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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