So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
