I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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