I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
