dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
