I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
