Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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