My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
