Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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