just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
