lets start a swedish sibling band together
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
