so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The police scanner is talking about you again....
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
