I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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