my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
