Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
