Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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