Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
