Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
