My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dear god my vagina.
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