Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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