Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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