how hairy? two words: wookie tits
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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