jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
