Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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