If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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