i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I smell like Dick and happiness
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
