Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
