I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
