today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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