he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
