everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Randomize
