Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
