none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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