she woke up with a sticky ear
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
