T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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