Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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