Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize