You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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