Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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