i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
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When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
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I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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