Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
