Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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