I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
