are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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