you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
