After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
