She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
