i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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