I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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