I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Of course I have a pirate flag
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
