I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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