I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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